Making A Change

Recent events in the world have a way of bringing me down like no other. The Epstein files, genocide in Palestine, the rise of AI, Lebanon being left out of the ceasefire, Cuban suffering, immense amount of division in the states, all atop of the ongoing cruelties that consistently occur throughout history. I know all too well how draining and hopeless it can feel.

These are not everyday thoughts for everyone. I have had the privilege of making connections with humans around the world, opening my mind and increasing my empathetic capacity. This makes it nearly impossible to only worry about myself and enjoy life’s luxuries without guilt creeping in. Guilt for obeying a system built for the success of few and the suffering of many. Guilt for supporting the mass murder of people around the world with my tax dollars. Guilt for talking about tv shows or gossip while the ones who run the country do evil satanic shit behind closed doors. There has to be more to this human experience than being compliant when there is evil running amuck.

I converse with some people and feel a loneliness I can’t put into words. When I describe these feelings and thoughts, the reactions I get are mixed to say the least. Some have no clue what happens around the world, others know and look the other way. Most just think they have no power, so what’s the point in thinking about it? I have a few options here. I can talk their ear off on very complex topics while surely losing focus, I can yell at them and call them heartless, or I can simply say my piece with love and respect and move on.

These conversations can be defeating or they can be motivating. I was not put on this world to wake up others, I am here to awaken myself. Let me repeat this, for my own sake. I was not put on this world to awaken others! When I feel alone in my opinions and after having spent too long in a conversation that will never end with mutual understanding, I remind myself of this. It’s hard. I just want others to see. To know. To understand. But that is simply my humanly ego. An ego that needs to be agreed with to feel satisfied. An ego that longs for validation. An ego that only feels seen when understood by the masses. This will never allow me to grow in the mind and spirit. This ego keeps me locked in the humanly loop of discontent. I have met so many people who understand me, who get me, who feel the same about the world. Our conversations feel refreshing and pure. Yet I still long for recognition and agreement from those who are on extremely different parts of their human journey.

I know the truth. The truth is that humans need each other. The truth is that world peace is achievable and within reach. The truth is that only community, sharing, and the unity of all beings, will show us that true value is within ourselves and one another. The truth is humans are all the same, no matter where we come from. The truth is, the humans who live with hate will only ever see the light through their own journey. No amount of convincing from me will ever be enough.

If I ever want to make a real change in this life, it has to start with me. (It could also start with the masses refusing to pay taxes, but that’s another topic). I need to start by looking in the mirror. By evolving into the human I want to be before I judge others on their journey. It’s hard, but I know that by becoming the most authentic beacon of light possible, the answers to facing cruelty will show more clearly. I need to constantly remind myself that it’s never progressive to expect change from other people. It will always be followed with some level of disappointment. But expecting change from myself? That is the sole path to awakening my soul, my spirit and elevating my ability to grow. And I truly believe that the path to world peace starts with individual awareness. When we turn inward, we are shown the crucial answers this world is desperately in need of.

I look at the world sometimes and feel defeated. There is war, there is suffering. There are humans around the world who might not have the time for these philosophical thoughts. They are in survival mode. But I do. I have the blessing of safety and security, which gives me time to think this way. The duty of self-work. The obligation to do something worthwhile in this world of historical cruelty. I want to make a change. In this world and for the human experience. So I’m going to look inward today. Today, tomorrow, and forever. This is the only way I have a chance.