Hard Things

At some point in a lot of my days lately, I need to repeat to myself “I can do hard things.” I am currently enrolled in a 26-day teacher training course in India learning how to teach yoga. Instead of saying all of that to people, I’ve kept it short by saying I’m doing a yoga retreat. A retreat, it is not.

I’m here learning yogic philosophy, terminology, science and poses. I’m eating a sattvik diet. This means vegetarian based meals made up of fresh fruits, veggies, whole grains and nuts, prepared with love and ate in a calm and peaceful environment— and yes, the last part is very important. I am awake by 5:30 and in bed by 10 PM, with my training being from 6 AM-6 PM. It sounds like a lot, right? To be honest with you, it is. But it’s also the first thing I have been truly motivated for in a while. I’m writing this on a Sunday, which is our day off, after spending my morning in meditation and optional yoga training. I have only been through 2 days, but I am really shining here. Inside and out because it’s May in India. I am sweating so much, my clothes feel damp by the end of the day. In spite of the heat and the hard work, I couldn’t imagine a better place for me to be. I feel empowered, I feel strong, and everything feels right.

Though my heart and intuition have been screaming at me that I am in the right spot, I have still found myself very challenged. I have realized I am much less flexible than I thought. Most of the yoga positions I have been doing for years? Yah, I’ve been doing them incorrectly. This means relearning things I previously considered mastered. It’s been a very humbling experience.

Through the pain and frustration, I just keep repeating “I can do hard things.” Because I can. No matter how many times I fall out of a position or can’t fold correctly, I am still here. I didn’t die of embarrassment, my heart didn’t stop from the effort. I am here trying my best and becoming stronger. I am not going to give up. Repeating this phrase is the little reminder I need to keep going. To believe in myself.

If I never challenged myself in this life, I would never grow. I could never even hope to develop into my highest self. So I choose a challenge. I choose the jagged path. I choose the way to self realization through hard work and sacrifice. This is the most rewarding for me.